The Catharsis of Vegetable Grooming

As punny as it sounds, it took a while before Bonsai Barber grew on me. It starts off as a one trick pony, but I grew to appreciate it the more I played (That one was intentional). It's one of those games that are totally and unabashedly relaxing, something that's not explored in videogames often enough. This review also holds special meaning because it got me in contact with Martin Hollis; a true visionary in games creation. Someday I might grow a pair and see if I can get an interview with him just to see what makes him tick and why this game is so good. Oh, and why the banana is so devious.

Even I found it befuddling that I found myself compelled to play a game whose prime directive was to finely manicure the hedges of talking flora. It's all thanks to a very convincing interview that Martin Hollis (director of seminal classic GoldenEye) gave on the Nintendo Channel during E3. He touched on the subject that he was getting to a point in his life where he's become more open-minded about what he plays and experiences. He talked about how having children and getting older had changed his tastes; something I find myself reflecting on more often than not as I approach thirty at a rapid pace. Anyways, to make a long insightful rant short and turn it into a proper game critique; he conceived Bonsai Barber to be something of a chaser to more serious fare, convinced me to download it to my Wii and suddenly become interested in giving a carrot the space buns hairdo.

The entire concept of Bonsai Barber sounds nothing more than something that should be, and probably is, a mini-game in say a WarioWare title. You take up shop in a nameless village with leafy denizens, and your prime directive is to give them the hair style of their choosing. They hop in the chair, an outline appears across their luscious bush-fro and you have at it. And that's really just about it. Besides cutting, you have access to clippers and a comb and you're also given the ability to color when the need arises (hot dogs are red and the bun is yellow, for example). But I'd be lying if that fact gave this game an amazing amount of depth. In all reality, you only get five clients a day and a single run is around the ten to fifteen minute range.

While I could bemoan that Bonsai Barber should have been released after Wii Motion Plus because there's a definite lack of finesse; what it gives you in return is something that most of us wouldn't find as rewarding: patience. Much like taking care of an actual bonsai tree, there's something gratifying and even reflective when it comes to meticulously trimming twigs. Believe me, that's as weird a sentence to write as it probably is to read. But it's true. There's something calming about that simplicity. But I could have had that with WMP too.

Stylistically, the game is akin to Animal Crossing; you start getting to know the citizens of the burg and getting attached. I suppose that's similar to when you go into a barber yourself; eventually you get to chatting and sometimes begin to build rapport, which usually results in return business. You never get to stroll around town, which is disappointing, but that's just a minor grievance. Beyond personality and look, you begin to find variances in the way that each character's leaves grow. It's in this that the game reveals it's challenge. Some folks have a large branch and many twigs which makes them easier; some have larger forks that makes it more meticulous. There's even a secret agent banana who's hair grows in the opposite direction of everyone else, totally changing your style. I like to think of him as a boss. If the moment of zen isn't your idea of a game winning prize, the neighbors also send postcards, give out doo-hickeys and a variety of achievements and goals to keep you plugging away.

Is this a game I'd recommend unequivocally? Probably not. It's an acquired taste and it does admittedly take a long time to warm up to, if you do at all. But for ten dollars, it was an experiment I was willing to take part in. So congratulations Mr. Hollis; you've managed to successfully veer off the beaten path and create something that's original, entertaining and a complete contrast of what we'd expect from an originator of console's first superb FPS. You've also managed to avoid putting the mullet as a style choice. To that I say thank you.