How a Man in a Pointy-Eared Cowl Found Redemption

Like my Rock Band 2 review from a couple weeks back, this one always manages to elicit a smile; it looks all professional and everything! The game is a still a proof of concept that amazing stuff can be done with even the usually restricted licensed title.

When it comes to the legacy of Batman in regards to videogames, it's safe to say that even our mothers probably know of his tainted reputation. Not that other superheroes don't have issues (see: Superman); but if any of them would, in theory, translate into the realm of interactive entertainment perfectly, it would have be the Dark Knight.

Just like filmmakers before them, development studios are finally getting that epiphany that maybe there's more to caped crusaders than big muscles and the obvious super powers. Most of the time, they're tossed into a brawler game of some sort; which is a travesty for poor Batman, because to me he's always been more about the detective work and analytical skills than fisticuffs. While a game about inner monologues and waiting to apprehend foes would not make for the most exciting plays, Batman: Arkham Asylum does an admirable job of blending the thirty seconds of action gamers crave with the sensible and thoughtful approach that Batman takes going about his business.

The deliberateness of how he does things is driven home right at the beginning: Batman walks everywhere. If you hold down a button, you have the option to run (and in certain situations you'll need to); but more often than not, you're supposed to study your surroundings and think about the best way to tackle a situation. To further prove the point, Batman also has what's called detective vision, a screen filter that shows you points of interest, escape routes and enemies within a room. I loved the fact that when I entered a new area, I'd have to stop and think about how I traveled across it. There's some obvious finger pointing as to where your next objective is, but there's an organic openness as to how you get there. There was many times where I'd successfully meander my way to a goal while taking out prisoners and have my pride of accomplishment taken away when I saw multiple possibilities on the way back. It's a marvel in both game and level design.

Dont' get me wrong, Arkham Asylum has brawling (which is pretty fluid), but that's not usually your best option. In another wonderful nod to the character of Batman, you often play the part of the hunter rather than the prey. As you slowly pick away at large groups one at a time, enemies start to panic and go paranoid; often avoiding helping each other in a sad attempt at salvaging their own worthless lives. I wanted to make a joke about the ungodly amount of gargoyles you can climb on in Arkham, but it's a concession I'm willing to make for more strategic combat.

Also helping build mystique are those wonderful gadgets Bats keeps stocked in his utility belt. The batarang moves beyond being a mere distance attack and can also be used to hit switches, cut loose people hanging from a rope (often times of your own volition) and disorient baddies. There's other gadgets as well including explosive gel, a grapple gun and decoder; each that sound simple in usage but become increasingly versatile the further into the game you get. It's one thing to add an experience system to your game; it's another to get it right by making said upgrades something more substantial and less superfluous.

Perhaps the biggest endorsement I can give to Arkham Asylum is the fact that it delves deeper into Batman's menagerie of foes than any other form of media beyond the comics. Each one is carefully re-imagined to live in a much darker interpretation of Gotham City; replete with solid voice acting (which I'm sure you've all heard about), interesting use of their gimmicks and creepy interview tapes that take a lot of them from goofy and colorful to homicidal and psychologically damaged. My favorite by far was Scarecrow, whom changes the way you play the game as he drugs you up and digs into what makes Batman who he is. Most of them follow the same pattern-based tropes you've seen since the 8-bit days; but that doesn't make them any less satisfying. As interesting as Bruce Wayne is as a damaged character, we all know his motivation; it's nice to see someone go further into what makes his villains tick.

The only thing that didn't sit well with me was the fact that the darker characters are set-up in a plot that sticks to it's comic book roots. Not that that's a total fun-killer; but it started out as promisingly sinister as the characters involved, so I was disappointed when the twist happened that revealed the Joker's reasoning as to why he lured Batman into Arkham and then staged a coup. Even up until the end game, conversations gave me the willies...and then you get a weird, cop-out of a boss battle that left me wondering what the hell just happened. I'll chalk it up to a personal preference; looking at it a bit more subjectively, it's probably just their way of paying homage to Batman's roots and comics in general. I was just hoping for something a little more classy; the steroidal shenanigans at the end smell of Todd McFarlane.

I began to wonder if I was playing the same game as other people; I've noticed a lot of comparisons to the now officially over-cliched "Metroidvania" genre, but I felt that game was more like Ocarina of Time, albeit with sadistic asylum escapees and eleven-foot crocodiliasapiens. The grounds of Arkham serve as the hub, and it's dungeons are places like intensive care, the mansion and the oddly placed botanical gardens. I suppose the comparisons come in with all the nick-knack gathering you can do such as the aforementioned interview tapes and the Riddler's ungodly amount of riddles and collectibles to find. It's not something I want to over-analyze, it's just a funny semantical observation I saw. How about we just call this type of gaming structure an "adventure" from now on?

It's rare in this day and age for a game to capture my attention so much so that I ignore other games and life priorities in general just so I can get a little bit further into it, but Batman: Arkham Asylum does it and with aplomb, no less. It's easy to see that it does a great service for games based on comic books; but I think it does gaming at large that same service as well. Even the biggest of cynics would grin maniacally as the played out their gray shirt and Underoo fantasies. And just remember, it could be worse: they could have always included rubber nipples. It's a crazy thing to say, but this is a good, nay great, Batman game.

Encyclopedia Spartannica

It's amazing how much you don't realize you've missed a console until you haven't had it for a few months. I've been just fine with my Wii in the meantime, but I'd be remiss if I didn't admit that I'm also glad my 360 is back. I'm highly convinced that gamers skew time in a way that's similar to the way many animals age; what's really a short span seems like eons to the average thumb twiddler. It definitely feels that way when I realize what I've missed in the world of Xbox Live: Twitter(worthless if you can't access it from the guide), Last.fm(while cooler, refer to parentheses on Twitter), Facebook (I'm over the site, but even if I wasn't the interface is busted) and the Rock Band Store (which I love because I can listen to new tracks without having to insert a disc).

But the one thing I've heard the least about actually happens to be the one thing that got me really excited: Halo Waypoint.

I guess I should get this bit of information out of the way: I am a fan of Halo. Mind you, I didn't say fanboy; I'm well aware of it's warts and realize that more ardent gamers dislike it's broader appeal. Regardless, I've fallen into the rabbit hole that is it's overarching storyline; believe it or not, it's actually some very solid science fiction. Which is why Waypoint has grabbed me so; it is at it's core the bible of all things Halo.

The app is separated into two distinct sections, one based on game play and the other a cache of lore. The game play portion keeps track of your achievements throughout the 360 titles, rewarding you with avatar gear the further you get. It's a cool idea; unfortunately I'm not the achievement hound I used to be, so I've only scoped it out a few times. The verbose encyclopedia is amazing, even if they only parcel off information at a slow rate. You can't blame them; it's a way to keep us coming back periodically, and it works quite well. I keep showing up, anyhow. I'll spare you any further babbling, except to say that it's really nice to have a solid chronology to keep up with.

Waypoint has me hoping that more games have a hub for fans to go to. I miss the days when we weren't constantly inundated with new titles weekly and we held tightly to the games we loved and praised them to the point of near worship. Publishers are more worried about pushing more product instead of fostering a desire to enjoy the worlds they create and the minutiae within. While I appreciate fan sites and wikis, there's something to be said for when the creators show the same amount of care and admiration. It may start becoming a trend; the aforementioned Rock Band Store and the forthcoming Rock Band Network are promising, and Irrational Games has rebuilt their homepage from the ground up with community in mind.

But before that happens, I think publishers need to stop worrying about the short term and start digging in for the long haul. I think the medium tries too hard to emulate film; but it fails from the get go because there is no equivalent to going to the theater. If they start to realize that they have a different kind of market, one that has the potential to be "evergreen", the better off we'll all be.

Well, I won't until Nintendo gives the Mother series it's due. But that's another story for another day.

What Happens in the Dark Should Stay in the Dark

Alone in the Dark has the distinction of being the first and only game that I was actually sent a review copy of, making me feel all professional and stuff. I have to give kudos to Sam Beck of the now defunct Phase 1 Phaser for the opportunity; although in all honesty the game was a sloppy mess, despite having good ideas and looking pretty. But really, it's was a great way to practice objective writing when you don't like what you're playing. And I'll let you in on a little secret: if I saw that I had to drive, I used the fast-forward option. If you knew how bad that is; you'd have done it too!

Call me David Duchovny, because damn it; I wanted to believe. I wanted to believe that Atari’s Alone in the Dark redux was going to be what I, and more importantly long time fans, have been hoping it would be. That being a seedy and evil monster mystery set in the already scary in the light Central Park of New York City. Add to the disaster meets zombies idea with fresh and innovative DVD-like options that let you fast-forward, scene select and get recaps a la a television drama and you have the trappings of what could be a beautiful rebirth of a much neglected franchise. If only Eden’s execution was half as good as their ambition.

I want to tell you about the intriguing plot that revolves around Edward Carnby trying to figure out what the hell is going on; but no matter what good would slip from my mind and onto this review will quickly get eclipsed by the nonsense I had to deal with to find it. Apparently French people think we American’s say fuck a lot; every two sentences spoke contained it. If Carnby came circa the 1930’s, would he really use that type of language? Did it even exist!? Maybe he caught a few reruns of Deadwood before the world collapsed around him. Even though the games vernacular was quite small, at least it was easy on the eyes; graphically and stylistically Alone in the Dark is sound.

Literally ripping pages from Resident Evil 4, the controls totally smack of Capcom’s work. Taking their plagiarism one step further, they at least saw fit to add an admittedly neat inventory selection that has you looking down into your coat to fumble for things. Unfortunately this isn’t an option to pause; enemies whose names end in “z” will still give you the one-two when you’re busy looking for a lighter. Easily remedied when you realize you can press the left or right bumper to quick pick; but then you realized that the inventory system is yet another innovation pissed down the drain by uselessness.

Not that getting hit is exclusively an issue when you’re digging into your jacket. The hit detection in Alone in the Dark is atrocious. I can’t even count the times I was hit by hands that didn’t come close to touching me, or falling off edges or into electric water when I shouldn’t have or the disconnect between anything I swung around at anything I was swinging at. And then there’s the numerous driving portions that were so painful I’d rather get titty twisters with pliers than be forced to play them again. It’s no wonder there’s a fast-forward function. And the coup de grace of disgrace goes to the fact that the majority of the achievements are null and void if you use any of the DVD features. Not a game breaking bug less than a personal annoyance; it just feels like salt to the wound in an already torturous experience.

Alone in the Dark is a prime example of promise over execution. I can applaud Eden for going out on a limb and trying something different with a genre that gets regurgitated often. But for every commendation I want to give them for their game, I have take twice as many stabs pointing out that no matter how noble your cause, it means nothing if you don’t deliver. Better luck next time.

The Glorified Scale

Oh, internet, is there anything your constant supply of anonymity can't offer us anymore? I know that I've found safety in discussing my health and weight knowing that very few people visit my blog; and out of those that do, only a handful know me personally. Even with that safety net hung up, there's comfort in knowing that I'm keeping myself honest by exposing these embarrassing facts to someone.

My reasons for getting healthy are many: that doughy gut that jiggles just enough to annoy me, a genetic predisposition for heart problems down the road, a physical need to keep up with my kids. I don't lead an entirely sedentary life, but I'm also not one that's inclined to set an exercise routine to keep myself active either. But like Bob Dylan once said, "the times, they are a-changin'."

Considering this is a blog expressing my views and feelings about videogames, I won't inundate it with the minutiae usually involved in such an undertaking. However, there are moments where the two intersect. Hell, now that I think about it, I've kind of turned the whole process into one of those alternate reality games anyhow. I wanted to balk at that notion, but really, what better way to get a gamer in shape then by turning exercise into a game? Regardless, the most that will every come of this whole ordeal (maybe not the best word to use there?) is a daily Twitter update which I'll describe in just a moment.

Since I've burned any bridges that would lead to a good segue, I'll just jump into it by saying my first step towards being healthy is stepping onto the glorified scale that is my balance board. As far as exercise equipment goes, it gets quite a bit of use at my house. The treadmill in my garage says hello, by the way. When I get up in the morning, I hit the Wii Fit Plus channel and weigh myself. I've read from a lot of sources you should only weigh yourself weekly; but I look at it as something of a leader board, thus I have to keep my score in check. I've totally disregarded the body mass index (BMI) readings, because there's just no way I'm hitting my "ideal" weight of 150 lbs. And as entertaining as the Wii Fit Age is, it's even less an indicator of fitness as your Brain Age is to mental acuity. Sure, I've got wonderful balance; but is that really indicative to how in shape I am? Actually, I just lied there; I lean a bit to the left, for some odd reason. I then summarily post my weight and the variance on Twitter to satisfy my need to let someone know while letting it get lost in a sea of online noise.

I've been consistent with this practice for a week, supposedly another and it becomes a bona fide "habit". Which, for once, is a good thing. My next step is to start a light exercise routine to get my body used to the notion that it's going to be doing more than walking and soft labor. The next time I post anything exercise related here will be when I finally put Wii Fit Plus through it's paces. It'll be a comedy piece, as I see myself falling while attempting yoga poses or straining to steer a virtual Segway.

Until then, then.

If You Want the Sweet Taste of Victory Mac, It's Through Practice...Not Chocolate

Remember the scene from A Christmas Story when Ralphie finally get's his Little Orphan Annie decoder ring and finds his palpable anticipation dissipate when that week's secret message is to "make sure you drink your Ovaltine®"? That's the way I felt about Doc Louis's Punch-Out!! at first; I put a lot of time and money into gratuitous Nintendo product spending and all I got was what amounted to a glorified demo. Not one to usually look a gift horse in the mouth, I took it with a grain of salt and a realization that had I gotten the alternate Mario hat, my children would have surely decimated it and all that it stands for. But once I got into the ring with who I think is the best character in the series, all was quickly forgiven. Ding, ding!

Even though you only spar with Doc in an empty gym, there's this wonderful sense of camaraderie with Mac as he shows him the ropes by secretly becoming an opponent. Hell, he didn't even have to fight, as his colloquialisms are worth the price of admission alone. It boggles my mind that folks find the Punch-Out!! games a second tier series in comparison to say Metroid or Zelda; I think that the pugilists' personalities are as much if not more memorable, even if they don't show up as often. I think I could just fill this entire post with quotes from Doc and it would be entertaining; but I'll stick to using my favorite one for the title.

Duking it out with Doc isn't one of the more challenging matches; I'd stick him somewhere in the middle devision, if that helps you get an understanding. He yells out all of his tells, which makes him sound like a cake walk; but if you aren't focused he will give you the beat down. His coup de grace is that when his health reaches the midway point, he busts out a candy bar and triumphantly let's you know that it's "choctastic" as he regains all of his health. It's definitely worth knocking the treat out of his hand; but I'm not one to spoil what happens next. There are three goes at Doc; an intro, a practice and than actual sparring that changes things up in the same way that the Wii game does when you have to defend your title.

The more I thought on it, the more I realized that Doc Louis's Punch-Out!! should be taken as downloadable content or a deleted scene from the full title. And although I spent an arm and a leg to get the game, I still have a metric ton of points to use at the Club Nintendo store. Hopefully someday they'll realize that we here in the U.S. want some of that super swag that Japan gets so I can use said hoard on it. Until then, I'm content with having Doc pull out his old school leather gloves and showing me why taking him on is so chocolicious

A Photo Blog of a Game I'm Not Sure I Played

To say I had some high expectations for Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers may be the biggest understatement of the year. Perhaps it's because my 360 has been M.I.A. for a few months and this looked to scratch that role-playing itch that Microsoft's box usually scratched; or maybe it's because I was smitten by My Life as a King, which was a great use for a mythology Square Enix refuses to acknowledge as it's own thing by slapping the Final Fantasy name on. Actually, now that I think about it, it's because it made such a damn good first impression; easily something that looked like the Wii could hang it's hat next to the other consoles. Right here is where I insert that cliche about "looks being deceiving".

I won't deny that, on a technical level, Crystal Bearers is a graphical powerhouse; on the Wii or anywhere else. But in this day and age, it takes a bit more than flashy good looks to keep someone playing. I was most looking forward to the mysterious plot involving the Yukes tribe (the pointy helmeted fellows) returning to the world after supposedly disappearing for a long while. What I got was a rote, nonsensical story that lacked even less substantial progression than the games structure. Which, by the way, is just you going through a variety of corridors while you ignore the floaty and unsatisfying battles on your way to the next perplexing cut scene. It never really felt as if I was in control; hell, I'm not sure I was really playing anything at all, really.

However, I did find a redeemable quality in your ability to snap photos. Like a lot of things going on in Crystal Bearers, I completely found it on accident when I hit 2 instead of 1 to get into my inventory. While most of the meta games within had tangible rewards for the player, I latched onto the one that only took memory out of my SD card. Quite frankly though; it was worth it. So instead of going on and rambling about the many irritating things about Crystal Bearers, I'll just present you with some of my favorite shots that make the game look more exciting than it really is.

This scene is sort of like the moment you step out of the sewers in Oblivion; only Crystal Bearers taught me nothing except contempt for gratuitous cut scenes and bland quick time events. Much to my dismay, this ended up being the only moment in the game where I ever got excited.

Here's another great vista shot that, upon first glance, would make you think that the game had wonderful level design. And while aesthetically that might be true; they were actually well concealed corridors.

Easily my favorite photo. I'm a sucker for places that remind me of my home here in the Black Hills: rollicking mountains, flowery fauna and strange cow/bantha hybrids that profess their love with hearts floating above their heads.

Yet another shot from the same area, the name escapes me which is a shame, as it's my favorite. That's a rope ladder in the middle there, hanging from an amazing zeppelin. I couldn't figure out how to get on the bugger, though.

At this point I had figured out that I could take shots in a first person view. I fail as a photographer, as I should have focused on that butterfly.

This is a really cool town that resides on a gigantic, shipwrecked boat.

If the Crystal Bearers will be known for anything, it's for this butt bumping segment. As to whether or not this is a good thing, I'm not sure. You're supposed to use your telekineses to help Belle (the gal on the right) knock the other girl off in some weird, turf earning ritual. I failed because the game gave no hint as to what you're supposed to affect. Interesting side note, the developers have a fascination with Belle's boobs; there's constant close ups of them, as she hides things in the cleavage. I'm not putting that out there to be perverse, it just became really funny later in the game as they did this every time. Proof that game developers need girlfriends.

I'll use these last two shots as a metaphor: this was the point where I hopped off the Crystal Bearers gravy train. That awesome field with the windmills? Couldn't explore it; the train took me back to the opening city to...I don't remember, because I really stopped caring at that point. I feel guilty for not finishing the game; but if something doesn't grab you, what's the point in just pushing through? Oh well, at least I made a cool photo blog out of it...

It's Nerf or Nothing, Apparently

In the annals of peripheral history, no system has more one-offs and duds like the Wii. The saddest part is, most of them are made by Nintendo themselves. While I enjoy my Wii Wheel, Wii Zapper and Wii Speak in an odd, kitschy kind of way; they are, in reality, random oddities that quickly get shelved when they reveal their lack of true function. Hell, I've never even used that microphone as of yet.

By far the biggest disappointment in my mind is the Zapper; I can live without the other stuff, but there's a visceral satisfaction to holding something that looks like a gun while you're blasting zombies, aliens or whatever other scourge has landed in your game. Sure, light gun games probably work better when you're just holding the remote; but it lacks the catharsis that only cheap plastic can provide.

If the picture above hasn't given it away, I've found a champion towards my cause to feel like a bad ass in the virtual shooting range, and it's made by those infamous purveyors or foam dart combat, Nerf.

My oldest got the gun and game combo for Christmas, and while I can't vouch for the title that came with it, I can tell you that the Switchshot EX is my new favorite rubber-ended firearm. Nintendo's doohickey, while aesthetically appealing in a way, seems a bit too...epic. It reminds me of the Super Scope; it eschews practicality in order to look awesome. Nerf's gun looks like a, well, Nerf gun; but during play it feels like Nintendo's old orange wonder.

Which means, in summation, that I've suddenly gotten an itch to play light gun games again. I've got Dead Space: Extraction in my GameFly queue with the possibility of adding Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles as well, plus I may even go pick up The House of the Dead: Overkill and milk it for all it's worth. Bang bang, indeed.

By Odin's Burnt Burrito...This Game's OK!

Remember when you where little and you'd pull all your action figures together for an all-out brawl to prove their plastic mettle in a war to end all wars? That's Marvel Super Hero Squad. It needs to be played with a grain of salt; there is no such thing as continuity here and the deepest the plot gets is "Dr. Doom wants to create a super sword, the end." It's just an excuse to get a random bunch of Marvel's superheroes and villains together and brawl.

The wannabe reviewer in me wants to knock the game for it's simplicity and shallowness; but I think that's missing the point. As hard as it is to wrap around one's head, sometimes it's just enough to be entertaining. I disregarded it's flaws because it's something I could play with my oldest son and not have him get overwhelmed. As awesome as he thinks something like Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 is, he doesn't have the patience to comprehend the mechanics and strategies involved in playing it. I'm not saying he's dumb and can't do it, mind you; just that he doesn't have the desire (or the play time alloted by his mother) to really dig his heels in and figure it out. That time will come someday; but for now he's content with punching Doombots around.

Beyond the cathartic joy of ripping apart armies of enemies with superheroic powers, I can't give enough praise to the sense of humor that Marvel Super Hero Squad has. It's all stemmed from the fact that the characters are stereotypes of the Punch-Out!! kind; enough for you to notice and get a laugh out of, but they don't go so far as to come off as offensive. The Silver Surfer talks like a beach bum with a desire to be a zen master and Captain America carries himself like a war hero, regaling the other Squaddies (the games term, not mine) with old stories to the point that he bores them. By far the best is Thor, who talks in 'thines' and 'thous' and uses exclamatory remarks involving taking his own father's name in vein. Robin would be proud.

Overlooking it's puddle-deep complexity, both my son and I found issues that we just couldn't look past. For me, it was the failed attempt at adding platforming in the hopes that it would break up the occasional monotony. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention how hard it is to get a 10-year-old to coordinate leaps with you; but Blue Tongue put the co-op on the wayside, readily apparent by the fact that the camera doesn't care where the second player is nor does it bother to split when you're apart. While it made for some frustrating moments, it also induced a lot of laughs, too. My son didn't care for the fact that the 'coolest' heroes where locked away and took more work than we were willing to put in to have. With Captain America and Spider-Man being as big as they are in the elementary school community; it's a shame. What's insulting is that they are both on the cover prominently to boot.

I'm slowly learning to forget about what the online community deems "cool" and instead focus on what I like to call "fun". It's easier to do when playing with my son; I can disregard my preconceived notions then. Besides, it's hard to hate on a game that actually has the chutzpah to include Modok and mock the infamous "fastball" so openly.

This Animal Life: Where Everbody Knows Your Name

Writing the great, American novel can really make a person parched. Well, thirsty enough to go out and drink something beyond the holistic approach of only downing water in the hopes of staying healthy, anyways. While I often take little jaunts into the village proper in order to study the people and their culture; sometimes I selfishly need a cup of joe to warm up my mind, my fingers and occasionally my bladder too. Being the societal oddity that it is, the best hang-out for caffeine imbibment is the Roost; which is tucked away underneath the local museum. Luckily the curator is something of a night owl, so even when the mood strikes in the evening I can stagger down to the basement and enjoy a cup of Brewster's finest.

Of everyone in town, I seem to find the strongest connection with our fine feathered barkeep. He strikes me as someone who hopped into H.G. Wells' time machine during the raging twenties and somehow crash landed in this little burg. He definitely looks the part, what with his glorious handlebar mustache and curiously small spectacles. The stereotype is held convincingly by the fact that he's quiet and observant while he constantly polishes glasses to a sheen. Or maybe I've just seen one too many black-and-white films from the era. I have an inkling, considering his profession and muteness, that he probably knows more of the going-ons around here than even the mayor-cum-don Tom Nook does. Which is why I like to hang out with him on Saturday nights; to pick up on stories and troubles in town. But also for the music...

Being part of an indie scene myself, I've come to appreciate what acoustic guitarist and folk singer K.K. Slider represents. He's able to seamlessly blend his live compositions into well-produced singles that he graciously shares with me after his set; partially to get the word out but silently because we get each other. He's a valiant troubadour; some even liken him to Santa Claus, capable of playing multiple gigs a night. It seems like a lot of work, but when you play for the joy of music rather than the commercialism of it all; it's probably anything but.

Having made the Roost a regular destination on the weekends, K.K. has gotten to the point where he asks me what I want to hear, or even just tell him my mood and he'll play off of it. There is a definite catchiness to the way he warbles, at once exposing his personality yet hiding his true feelings withing alliterations and rhymes. What's also interesting is that he seems to strum and move his hand across the neck to produce a lovely sound; but without it looking as if he's playing. It lends an eerie facetiousness to it; but I'm sure what we can't see is him masterfully picking at the strings with his claws. Either way, I leave the Roost as happy as a clam as well as refreshed and rejuvenated for another week. Or maybe I'm just buzzing from that extra shot of pigeon milk Brewster stirs in for me.

Defending Your Castle on Pennies a Day

Ah, Defend Your Castle; you've given me way more quality for five dollars than a lot of others do for sixty. Even though sitting down and trying to play through the game is impossible, it's equally daunting to not want to play a wave or two before starting up something else. Which is probably the way this game was meant to be played. I know it's been done to death on the PC; but I prefer the aesthetics in this one.

When was the last time you found a game to be worth the money you spent on it? With videogame pricing generally at $60 a pop in this generation, I find it takes a lot to justify shilling out that kind of money unless I'm going to be completely fulfilled and able to gorge myself on it later. In the world I live in, I have to provide things to my family like food, shelter, diapers and the almighty petrol. The best description of the way my wife looks at me when I ask if I can plunk down two tanks of gas for fun in disc form would be painful disdain. So, does that mean that if a game costs far less than that; should it be held in just as high a regard? If it were a greatest hits title that sells at the still absurd thirty bones mark; than yes, probably. But what if said game started out at a price point equivalent to your kids' Happy Meal? Such is the pickle I found myself in with XGen Studios WiiWare title, Defend Your Castle.

I'm fully aware that this game is available for free in Flash form on about a million websites; but I paid five dollars solely on atmosphere. Defend Your Castle takes the aesthetic approach of looking like a kindergartner's art project. Your castle is made of cut-out cardboard, your attackers are button-faced stick men and bottle cap-headed brutes who lay siege with Popsicle sticks and snap gun rounds in a very bare-boned world with cotton swab clouds. Ridiculously charming? Check that. And all the game play you really need to know is pressing A or B while aiming your bread tie cursor to pick enemies up, and all you have to do is toss them high enough to make them plummet to their deaths. Their screams of fear never get old.

You can deck out your fortress by spending points that you earned, starting with a way to convert enemies to your cause in towers that hold archers, ballistic experts, magicians and stone masons. In this your strategies lie in stealing enough stick men to fuel you defense campaign. It's entertaining...for the first thirty levels or so. It's then that I realized that the meat on them bones are suspiciously loose. Cooperative play can stem this problem for a while, but even this ends up getting boring after a while. I don't even think the devoted fans can keep going on this game, it runs strictly on fumes after a bit.

But I'm OK with that; it's fun while it lasts. And I answered that price versus content debate for myself. I could have poisoned my cardiac system with a greasy hamburger and an obscene amount of salt for the price I payed for Defend Your Castle. And while said combo meal will eventually run through me like no body's business; at least I can come back to DYC when I have an unnatural urge to punish stick people...

A Wonderful Wind This Way Blows

LostWinds is, hands down, my favorite WiiWare and quite possibly best downloadable title I've ever played. More than once. My expectations of what I want out of videogames has evolved over the past few years, and I take solace in knowing that this was the trigger. As fun as triple-A blockbusters can be, I get a warm feeling in the cockles of my heart at hidden gems such as this. I'm still waiting for Frontier to put out the sequel that the ending practically begged for. Maybe this unadulterated love for a silly boy in a goofy hat will be their impetus.

Sometimes the biggest breath of fresh air comes from the unlikeliest of places. Quality Wii software is hard to come by; developers and publishers go for the biggest cash-in by making simple mini-game collections that don't innovate beyond the point and click game play that is currently taking the lions share of sales on the PC as well. We were promised new and inventive games, and yet the only thing we see is the inclusion of a scant few genres that were not represented on consoles before. In contrast, that might be why LostWinds comes across as the polar opposite of the money making train of thought. But I quickly found out that's not the case; LostWinds is a great game on it's own merits, and something that should find it's way into every Wii owner's library.

Although probably not as impactful, LostWinds takes a page from the classic title Bionic Commando. Rad Spencer didn't have the ability to jump; he was forced to swing off of ceilings and spotlights with his retractable arm. Toku, the protagonist in LostWinds, also can't hop a platform if his life depended on it. He relies on Enril, a wind spirit that happened to come across the young waif and con him into saving Mistralis from a demon; to help him make his merry way. Toku is controlled with the analog stick and Enril is basically your cursor; essentially giving you control of two characters at the same time. When moving Enril across Toku, it gives him a boost across the myriad gaps littering the land. That's just the beginning to what you can accomplish with the wind; you'll eventually learn to move things with it, wave it underneath Toku to soften long landings, have it launch the boy in the air with a later acquired cape (visions of Super Mario World come to mind) and so many other things to solve puzzles that I don't even want to mention in fear of spoiling the experience for you. What's especially nice is that it all works without a hitch; the only times I found myself goofing up was because I made the error and not the game.

Equal to the euphoric game play is the world and it's pastoral settings. Mistralis is a wonder to look at, seamlessly linking together puzzles in a way that doesn't stick out at you as forced for the sake that it's a videogame. The art style is whimsical, given a soft filter to not only help blur the low resolution textures but to give it a gentle and relaxed vibe. Also helpful is calm, Japanese styled songs that lend itself to pacing the game a little slower so that players can enjoy LostWinds. Gamers don't often stop to smell the roses; but it'd be in your best interest if you did here.

But for all the gushing I've done up to this point, you knew there'd have to be something amiss here; and you'd be right. As is the nature of the beast known as episodic gaming; it feels like LostWinds stops it's moment right when it hits its stride. Even at a casual pace I was able to finish the game in under three hours. And the ending was very unsatisfying; even though I saved the proverbial day, they definitely beat around the bush and tease at more. Which definitely works in making me want the next episode; I'm eager to see new areas of Mistralis, unearth new moves and continue my adventure in beating Balasar.

Don't let the length deter you; even though it ends before you know it, LostWinds is worth the price of entry. It's masterful in all that it should and is a shining beacon for those that think the Wii is an inferior console. But most importantly, play it because it's insanely fun. And so that I can get my sequel sooner!

It's Good to be King

I intend to, at some point, follow up on this post by using the New Game + feature and really tricking my town out. For your viewing pleasure, I'll add some context to that upcoming (no promises as to when) post. -- M.H.

Having just finished My Life as a King; I've come to realize that I've been subliminally tricked into enjoying adding numbers and other such mathematical equations in the myriad role-playing games I've played for well over two decades. I never thought myself a closet statistician; then again I never thought I'd keep an online diary of my videogame playing habits, either. That reality is OK with me; whether it's weighing the stats of an old axe versus a new one or getting a poo-eating grin when I see those blue numbers pop up letting me know what a success my level up was, I derive simple kind of pleasure from it. Which then eased me into being alright with liking My Life as a King; because in essence the best part of this royalty simulator is the various progress reports and tithe round-ups that you read before you even set foot in your kingdom.

The plot comes straight from the RPG cookie cutter mold set; the Dark Lord (no beating around the bush here, he's just called the Dark Lord) destroys a kingdom and supposedly it's king with it. A few year later, his spunky, 10-year old spawn strolls in with a midget bodyguard and a consul who suspiciously acts like your nanny in the hopes of rebuilding the kingdom into grand form. And maybe along the way, give that Mr. Dark Lord a good old what's-for! Square Enix surprisingly didn't add much more back story than that; and everything that goes on plot-wise afterwards doesn't excite either. They could at least pretend that things are more epic than they might truly be. Before I move on to talking about the game itself, I wanted to air my grievances at SE literally tacking on the Final Fantasy name onto pretty much everything they publish anymore. Crystal Chronicles is a beautiful and intriguing setting; it's sad that they seem so scared of it failing that the need to add a moogle here and a few familiar name drops there to keep the wheels greased.

Anyways.

At first, being the king kind of blows; it's not particularly proactive when you're playing, because you want to be the one going into dungeons acing monsters, not the guy that sends the heroes to do the smiting for you. Your claim to fame is having the ability to use architek, "the magical ability to build homes, businesses and schools!" Ahem. Yeah. For a world building game, it would seem a bit more structured than you might expect; the blank canvas of a kingdom always has the same landscaping, you merely put buildings up on certain plots of land. The layout is just fine though, and you quickly forget when you're so busy customizing the city to fit your needs. Strategy starts playing a part further in when you realize that people who live by certain places (i.e. a black mage training center) tend to have better stats in spell-casting, for example. It's very clever, and pulled me much more than I first thought it would. Maybe we could call it an interactive study in culture.

As your town begins to bustle, it falls on you to hire adventurers to keep it safe. I've always gotten a charge out of keeping tabs on my party, but the thought of keeping up with an entire gaggle of them seemed a bit overwhelming. It wasn't as bad as I thought, so long as I just kept updated on their overall level and left the nitpicking to when I got to award medals when they completed one of my behests. Things got complicated when my wards went from all being warriors to wanting to change classes, such as thieves and white mages. Even more perplexing was when you weigh things like where your soldiers live, what they're stats are and even their race can play factor on what job best suits them. Heady stuff, to be sure, but also entertaining when you begin wiping the map clean of evil with your troupe of well-trained adventurers.

The two game play types (city building and adventurer management) work well together; I eventually formed a routine in which I'd weight stats and money in reports in the morning and possibly give medals to the worthy, then send my parties out looting quickly followed by me walking around town chatting with locals and building new things on occasion. It's a very rewarding system...until you get about halfway in. At that mysterious point in the game, things start do drag and feel like...work. Cue dramatic music in your head after having just read that. Just like a standard RPG, you want some kind of prize for all the effort you put into leveling up and such, and it's here where the well starts to run dry. The completionist in me hates this aspect; I began to run out of room for my newest building acquisitions and I had already maxed the cap for elementite (used to build) and cash, making anything other than hunting down the Dark Lord a moot quest. I don't want to juggle different buildings around...I wanted to put them all up. It's a nice touch to add a new game plus feature, but playing all the dungeons on higher difficulty levels just didn't get me excited because there wasn't anything else to do once your town is built.

But before I ever got to the point of boredom, I logged in many hours crafting my empire. Many enjoyable hours, at that. My Life as a King is the type of game that should be looked upon as that bridge between the invisible gap between what makes a downloadable game just as quality as a disc based one. It's huge, it's pretty and it's most definitely not a weekend dalliance. Much like Braid, the lack of replayability is made up in kind by the impression I got from it the first go around. Maybe when I'm a little low on new games to play I'll come back to my burg and press on through the few dungeons left unexplored; especially the one I payed for via DLC so my village could have an awe-inspiring library. Libraries...bane of hardcore gamers everywhere or gift from the heavens to one player stuck on playing an arbitrary game of numbers? The world may never know.

Big Me

I love, love A Kingdom for Keflings. There's something to be said for games that offer a more relaxing experience. I'm a fan of NinjaBee through and through, and this is their best offering yet.

My oldest son summed up A Kingdom for Keflings best by saying, "it's a game about doing chores...that's fun." I've learned to never question the genius of a nine-year-old. I've found my tastes swaying more and more towards the more non-traditional gaming tropes these days. It's not that I don't occasionally enjoy killing terrorists or space aliens, but rather that I have found equal enjoyment when a game challenges me to think differently or expand game play beyond popping a cap in something.

Although my son makes Keflings sound like a devious hard labor simulator, the gaming avant garde would call it a resource management title, distilled to it's core principles. There's no beating around the bush when it comes to Keflings goals; it is to simply build a town for your little neighbors to inhabit. You don't need to fortify your village in defense of stereotypical fantasy monsters or crush a rival kingdom with your economic might; you just build work shops for cobblers and secondary schools, and that's it. It's simplistic, sure; but also refreshing in the fact that it just leaves you to your own devices and embraces creativity.

You're still guided to a degree; the kingdom evolves gradually through the methods in which you build and the materials needed to do so. For instance, you start off using logs primarily which advances to carved wood. You're always using the basic provisions of wool, wood, crystal and stone; you just use more complex versions of it the further you get. When you first bump to the next "level" it feels a bit daunting; but it fades quickly. And that's the extent of what little difficulty curve there is. This isn't the type of game that goes about challenging you per say; unless, of course, you lack patience of any kind.

What's interesting is that, even though you play a giant, you're actually portrayed as the underling. You direct the Keflings in gathering resources; but the majority of the work is done by you. Even with that much sway, you never lay claim as ruler; in fact, you pick one of the little people to move up the rank from mayor to eventual king. There's perspective to be had in knowing you're the most powerful person in the land, and yet you're content with just helping out. There's also a nice sense of accomplishment in finishing a new building, which is a bit strange considering it honestly doesn't take very long to build anything; a few minutes tops. What's even better is that, once you've put the last tower in on your burgeoning castle, you can keep extending your kingdom; land permitting. Which I felt like doing the minute we stopped dancing in triumph. Something I rarely feel compelled to do these days in videogames period.

None of my gushing comes as a big surprise personally; NinjaBee has quickly become one of the top developers on my short list of favorites. There's a certain feel and style to their games that just screams for me to pick them up. And I have yet to be disappointed. A Kingdom for Keflings is one of those titles that relaxes; something that games just don't do often enough. Which is a strange thing to say about a game whose sole game play mechanic is essentially doing work. My son would agree.